Busy junction

Its like a hundred way traffic junction. All the signals are green. Vehicles are losing track, they are dashing and scrubbing against each other. Everyone is struggling to get through. But what about the junction..? It wasn’t originally made to face this jam! It was just an intersection of roads whose traffic was to be scheduled.
But this time had to come. The signals had to go green, all at once. Something went wrong..Or the signals took over time? Or was it just fate?
But there are more junctions ahead. With a thousand way traffic. How do they function? Do all the signals ever go green there too? That wud be worse than the first junction. But no, this junction knows that some vehicles shud be given a red signal for some time. Or just a ‘no entry’ sign?!
Things don’t work out unless they are scheduled. But are schedules to abide by!? Isn’t there anything called instinct? Cant there be last minute sign ups or 11th hour rushes or sudden change of opinions? Yes, there are, but not everything can be judged on the basis of instinct. Decisions have to be made at times. no matter how bitter they r 2day, theres always a hope of a better 2moro. Unwanted past never buries itself, it has to be buried, and its possible only with the help of time.

....my body is tired, eyes are strained, fingers laze to type, but my mind is running, fast and unstoppable! Its travelling long spans of time and distance in not more than just a spur of a moment. Its boiling, its falling out, its almost about to lose direction and let go…but I WILL survive, coz I believe in life, n this is what its all about. And I will survive thru more junctions to come..

hi crazy! how u doin?

the day started late by bunking 1st lecture in college. Worked on sm sketches and went to college by 1. The wall painting is done now..n it looks amazing.
Dance practice was going good. Isaac turned up at 3.30 and we had to go take prints of our asgnt. We borrowed shruti's bike, coz i hadnt got mine. The nearest printing shop was at satara rd. As we asked for colour prints, the sweet lady says, "Oh, the colour printer isnt working since 3pm!" Wow! Then we had no other choice but ABC. As we reached abinav chowk, i remembered seeing a 'graphics and printing' shop near by and thankfully i was right.
the sun was unbearable and i was biking coz isaac "was not wearing layers of protection" as he calls my scarf and helmet. anyways, we got the prints and started our way back. I took the bike out of the lane and boom... there was a huge bullock cart coming in from the left and isaac screamed for life! i succeeded in avoiding it and soon realised it was a 'one way' and i was the subject of many a 'galis' from ppl around! but i safely u-turned the bike. then we halted at a sugarcane juice stall coz we both thot i was 'dehydrated'! yeah , i have been living on fruits and water as decided. but the dance practice and the sun had taken it all out. we reached college as fit as we had left. well, not me..coz i was all drowsy...to the point that while climbing up the stairs i just said, 'isaac, i cant climb. plz lift me up!' thats like a near-to-death thing to do, lifting me up.
I was home by 6. had 3 oranges! then rested for some time. at around 9.30 pm mum says we've to go take measurements of our new place. great! so now the drowsy girl is given the car keys!
biking to driving ..hm yes, i was pathetic 2day!
And of all times, isaac msgd " hi crazy, how u doing?" to which i replied, "promoted to dizzy''

saying 'no'

u r out with family to watch a movie and u say 'no' to samosas and coffee, then u go to a restaurant with them where u r surrounded by all sorts of foods n smells and u say 'no' to dinner..fuck! food is poison or what! m too fed up of being fat. i want lose as in lose in real than just losing a couple of kgs a month or so.. and with the dance coming up..i need to reduce myself to look like other girls in the group coz m the central dancer and i have to look perfect in every way!!! i have the rhythm, the grace, the pace but a body!!!
so m practically living on water and fruits! its a healthy diet that i assume shudnt add extra flab. also, daily dance practice is gonna help me get into shape. This is it! m too serious now, i just wanna go for it..i wanna try what crash diet feels like... how light i wud feel after havin lost a considerable amount of weight.. and how happy i wud feel for myself having controlled my weight against my tendency to put on.

emotional trap? ..whatever!!

its been 2 years now, m living away from aai and sidd...n its an absolute bliss! everything is perfect- i dont have to listen to their loud fights whole day, or be a good girl n go to bed at 10 or eat on time, nor answer all the possible questions mum asks when i leave the house, or go around with family when i have piles of pending work...god, mum doesnt realise how dominating she is at times! i feel so trapped if m in bombay for a day or two or even when shes here in pune!

i cant continue staying with gadgils with my own family being around. actually mum wudnt give me a choice..so i rather not live with that hope! 15 days to go... we saw 4 places 2day, and finalised one right away..its airy, close to gadgils, and mum loved it.

The more she talks about how we wud decorate our new home..and how we wud have family time, the heavier i feel inside. mum, m in college whole day, i work at home almost all nite..what about my exhistance! i mean the time i have 2day, to concentrate on my work, and the flexibility to work at any time wud be screwed!

anyways, time is the one factor i trust..hope we get along well..coz we all have changed in the past 2 years! sidd is a teenager now, mum is more into sidd than me, which i love! dad is more at peace with his work but not really about sidd. and i m used to managing myself and work n taking decisions for myself- like spending or saving money, deciding whats favourable for work matters etc. since no one in my family is in art feild, i have to do things by myself.

This b'day i decided, i wanted to be financially independent when m 21, enough to tell dad that i want to separate, like, not go way, but not live together in the family. ofcourse i care for them, but catching up once in a week is good enough.
so m freelancing too now! i dont wana be a girl in the crowd, who wud take some degree, then a stable job and finally get married to a similar 'rat race victim' and screw my life!

*retro dancing*

a big time hit! no wonder everyone from college students to aunties and uncles wanna dance on those tracks! its like a sure shot ace for stage performances. so mr.isaac thot of dancing on 'aj kal tere mere' , 'chhod do anchal' and those kinda shaky shaky dances for the annual day. hes finally convinced me to dance with him (yeah, i was unsure how i wud be on stage n its been 8 years since i last performed!) So, we r on! I got over the weight consciousness finally, m not that fat NOW , but still i was at some time, n that consciousness is at the back of my mind n keeps popping up when it hears the word 'stage' or some kinda public appearance. But i look much thinner these days, as all my reliable sources say, so m gonna give it a shot!

retro dancing is fun, m watching videos and trying out the steps, n i think i can do well. but the bombaite shud be here soon to rehearse.

i also have a contemporary dance to perform with a group of girls. we've almost fixed up 'breathing light' as our music. lets c, i really hope this works out! it wud be great, VCIC wud get sm standard! coz last year's annual day was 'miserable'! no, it was worse than that. so this year, all those who dint perform last year, for god knows what reasons, have thot of rocking it this year!!

bombay dictionary

A project, that i believe, is bringing out a good deal of creativity out of me.
Its basically a pictorial presentation of unique happenings in mumbai. Its got A-Z words that make mumbai the crazy city that it is. Somnath sir loved it. He suggested i add the thought process that has gone behind the idea, into the presentation. that made me really happy, he appreciated my thinking, the last project 'creative junk' was also liked by him. at that time too he had suggested i add pop-ups to make the user realise the thot behind developing the game.
Back to BD! I must say, this is my first multi scene flash presentation. its a creative learning process- the ideas that strike on the spot, the action-scripting concepts...
I have mainly used scribbles and simple graphics, which i believe are developing into a good personal style. i enjoy doing it and m gettin better. I loved doing the 'designer's desk' scene, where in i have included info about me and the making of bombay dictionary, as suggested by sir. Now the only part left is the music, which i will come up with very soon...good things take time to happen...hehe...n i dont wanna make compromises with this one!
i have been working all thru last 3 nights on it, ruining my health as aai says, but i have a blast when i work anyways! its a different world all together ..no phone calls, no door bells, no one to bug u at night...its only u, ur focus on the work and not to forget ur music!!! keep the volume up!

vibes

..i took around a month to get over my confused state and be at peace...me n sumit messed up hundreds of times in this time, freaked at each other and kept patching up! thats how it is..we always fight and next instant we'd be talking abt our next project.
We rock ultimately coz:
I am the most unstable element.
He is stable in his own rigid way.
I have many friends but zero constant work partners.
He has one frined and one work partner.
I follow my instincts and make the best of 2day.
He is ambitious and futuristic.
I need assurance.
He needs a push.