m in a fix

theres something i seriously want to get rid off. but its like m quite deep in the shit. but still i shud be out of it. i want to. yes, i was taken away by the thought of it and began working on it. but i realized m not made for this. kinda like, i can do it but i want to do things other than that which i feel are more important. so m gonna take a deep breath and tell the concerned person that i want to be out of it no matter what, coz at this time in my life i really dont have to take it on me. a very essential part of you, is to be able to say a NO. that actually gives u a satisfaction of being stood by yourself irrespective of people trying to impose things on you in how so ever nice ways. m gonna be true to myself and tell them that. if i just go on with it, i will lose myself. i definitely dont want that 'me-ness' to go :) i've had it once, no more!

teach india

the teach india group in pimpri has started a new season of hobby class on weekends.
sumit has been a part of the first season, and wanted me to become a part of the movement, but i cudnt then. so this time i dint wanna miss. i rode 22 kms to pimpri to hang around with these kids from the near by slums. we were 10 volunteers and about 50 kids. we taught them paper bags, photo frame, paper basket and flowers. it was cool.
last montth i volunteered for a similar worshop for kids. only these kids being from a higher middle class. what difference did i feel? NOTHING. children are children, no matter what class, what background! all are equally creative and willing to do new stuff. its just that teach india is a soial service, so no pay. but i felt the slum children needed us more than the ones from settled familes. they can afford art classes or special coaching if they are talented while the slum kids just need exposure. and if something strikes, its gonna be of a great help to them. they need to know more than washing cars, selling flowers or dropping newspapers...

its that time of the year again!

when the sun is too lazy to show up. its breezy, its cool and its all wet!!!
getting drenched in rain is like a tradition for the first 2-3 weeks of monsoon coz u really need to beat the heat thats burning your skin for the last 3 months. so m in that phase right now. and i dont mind having cold yet again :) one more reason to chill- exam khatam!!!
day before was the first day it rained. the evening was deep yellow with fresh greens. i went to almost every window and balcony in the house enjoying the wind and the rain. i was so happy that i actually started painting on a 15x 20 ' canvas!
thanks to my one month leave from studio. i can do things i really want to. like it feels really nice to be painting after a lot of digital work. and so in that excitement i finished the wash before it was dark. I'll complete it next time it rains ;)

In the spirit of Maya Day!

Why will we celebrate this day?!
coz, it was our Maya exam 2day.
i have never been tensed or nervous before any exam ever, not even board exams.
my friends have been helping me with the software, i love them for that.
in tension, i pooped like 3 times in the morning, dont know how my body cud produce so much of it considering i had not eaten anything since last night. m so convinced, health problems are not only bad state of the body but a worse state of mind.
isaac and mohini cracked most stupid jokes to chill me.
when i finally saw the test, magic happened!
i cud see the given photo in wire frames and further back in polygons.
thanks again for the tutorials - pranav, mohini and pranjali.
back to the lab, the power cut off within half hour. yes, thanks to thursdays in pune.
we got like 3 hours off to wander around, have medu wada and kala-khatta flavored pepsi cola!
imagine what an exam!
we played dumb charade in the lab. nothing like it.
we practiced for the given image on laptop back up, like full into it!
sir tricked us and changed that image.
power went off yet again!
we all looked at each other and laughed like mad.
power back, and sir gave us an easy one to wind up in 2 hours.
our epic exam- 12 to 6pm (supposed to be 12-3) ended with tasty toast sandwiches and kulfi :P

commitment

when u gotta do it, u gotta do it..no matter what!
even if u have spent one whole day completely wet in rain and u come home at midnight with a high temperature and cold, u have to go to work next morning because the client has embossed a dead line on your work. so what if half the time u are busy sneezing or using up paper napkins to clean your nose. so what if u have to sit under a thunder fan when u have a head ache just because your colleagues need it, and u cant move from your place. but u do it coz its your work and u love it. u come home with a more intense cold and dry throat. u crash on your bed, but then u know u're having guests for dinner and your mum sends you out to buy some food stuff. u walk with pain but u walk managing three bags, and suddenly u meet a friend on the way. that helps u to cheer up. but u realize u are getting late and rush home. at the end of the day, your body feels sick but u are happy u were of some help to people who love you and count on you.

chappal stealer

it was all going good, tiring but good, at the studio till 7.30. ma'm was about to leave and noticed that one of the chappals kept outside had gone missing. wow, it was dark, she saw a dog, i was working and the best part, it was my chappal :) i had to finish work asap coz we had to send the files to print the next day. so i cudnt move. so ma'm asked me to continue working and finish it while she goes around looking for my 'one of the favorite' black leather slip-ons. she told the landlord to turn on the lights in the building. but disappointed, she asked me to take a round. so i did, but no luck. my chappal was gone. and i came home wearing the rubber chappals that we use in the bathroom at the studio!
we had high hopes of finding it 2day in the day light in the adjoining plot where i had last found one such missing chappal. oh, that incident was a quickie. the landlord's daughter saw a dog(the same dog) carrying the chappal (the same one) in his mouth. so she ran down to inform us. we had rescued it in that plot and it was intact.
anyways, its gone now. i got the other lonely chappal home 2day :(

finally watched happy days

its a telagu movie. sumit wanted me to see it for the last 5 months almost. we watched it on my b'day. its very close to whats happening around me. all the movie says is 'you dont to go college to achieve anything, you are there to build your personality'. and its so true.
i've given up abusing my college and the crowd. when u actually approach people with a positivity they respond exactly the same way. i talk to people i never talked in the last 2 years. i can spend a fruitful day in college even if my immediate friends dont turn up or leave early. i just mingle with almost any kinda people. living with isaac taught me that one thing, adaptation. tho m quite back to myself at myself with myself, now that hes finally moved out. another lil lessen, share your space with a person who might not know everything on the world but knows when u leave u alone. because of his stickyness, i wud mostly lose my mind and go mad at anyone who comes in my sight. duh..! past is gone..back to present.

i have been taking up new, not mine kinda projects. and i think theres a lot of scope. patience and struggle is full on. i want to do things that i and anyone else for that matter wudnt expect me to do. like i've started sketching faces which i never did and i want to improve it. i want to make a portfolio 'jaan todke, sar phodke' as me and isaac say when we are happily working together on our respective interests.

so sumit, thanks for the movie! i think i saw it at the right time, i wudnt have enjoyed it 5 months ago. plus the b'day thing and group watching was a big thumbs up!