Trying to fit in

19 may 08
I don’t know how to start with this. It’s tough to adapt to changes that are against ur will. Yest’day, I was out the whole day just b’coz I cudnt think of a reason to go out of the house again.

I was out at 9, went to mohini’s place to pick her up for college. just then sumit nsgd ‘no class’. I stayed back. We thot of watching narnia at 9.30 e-sq but we were too late. So we went to my place. Had lunch and went to city pride to catch the 12.5 show. Awesome movie! It ended at 2.30. yash was to call me after his class, so I thot me n mohini hang out a lil and then I’ll go with yash. So we went browsing thru big bazaar for half an hr. I found chetan bhagat’s 3rd book and picked it up! Then we sat out side big bazar on the katta. Had caramel popcorn and bingos while I read the book and mohini listened to her ipod. It was abt 3.30 when yash msgd he cant make it soon! So after a while we went to tathavde udyan and spent like an hr there, walking and talking. Then mum calls and assigns me some job. So we go to the plumber and the solar heater dealer. Done with them by 6 when yash again calls up to cancel the meeting, he got busy. Cool.

By that time me n mohi were too hungry and hogged on some bhel puri and veg puff. We planned to work at my place in the night. So from lucky bakery, we drifted to swargate to get her stuff and back home by 7. but we both were so tired that we went to sleep at 11! The driving hadn’t left its remains from me. I felt sick. I was showing a few symptoms of fever..but one dose of homoeopathy did the magic! M feeling better since this morning.

I talked to Isaac after a long time 2day, on the phone. Hes been good. Its just that I feel I don’t get to spend as much time with my frnz as I used to. Like yest’day was one day after weeks that I spent with mohini had we had fun. I haven’t met yash since last 3 days. I haven’t seen other college frnz for 2 days. Its like m turning into an indoor person, which I hate! M a complete outdoor material. I don’t recollect the last time I went out sketching at swargate, or going out biking at night with frnz, or just an evening walk in the company of trees in the narrow lanes of karve nagar, or climbed up parvati whenever I felt like…times r changing so much! All coz I’ve shifted with my family!? Coz earlier, I cud go out anywhere at anytime without worrying about what a 20 yr old wud say to mum or what sidd wud think about his tai. Now, there are other existences to me than just suju. Mum expects me to carry the home responsibilities and i cant avoid it. I know I have to. I cant give her a straight answer coz shes explosive, and also going thru menopause, which directly affects a woman’s emotional state. So I have to be very careful in choosing words when I talk to her and have to be polite and smile. While on the other hand I have to make sure sidd is disciplined as per dad’s conditions. And he being a compete brat, it’s a tough job!

So unintentionally, I have cut down on time spending with frnz and increased family time. I cudnt figure out how this happened but it is what it is and I have to face it coz I love my dad too much. And only coz he isn’t available for mum n sidd, hes put me into this. Daddy’s good girl has grown up.