Mission accomplished!

Today, i woke up early than usual i.e. at 7. cleaned my room, washed the balcony, arranged the plants and after all the sweating, had a zakas bath in cold water. I had a mission 2day, so i finished the daily chores as early as possible. The mission: Hunt for my notebooks in my room at aji's place. the room is now only a storage place after i left. so searching for the notebooks meant serious scavenging! But i was too determined 2day, coz 2moro is the exam and i have to have the notes.

I reached there at 9. worked on the glow signs project for a while and then began the search. I went thru my junky table top first....no luck. i had packed some bags to move to my new room. there are around 8-9 bags. I took a deep breath and began opening them one by one. clothes, canvases, boards, colours, brushes, blankets, papers, papers and papers.....no trace of a simple note book. then with all possible hope i cud gather, i opened the last bag. after sliding out many a papers, there it was! oh, i cud have kissed it, but it was layered with dust. i wiped it off and carefully placed it on the table, opened it, browsed thru all the pages and what, the scripts that i wanted werent there!

i then remembered i had written them in another book. so began the part 2 of my hunt. Now there was only one option left- the drafting table top, burdened with more of my stuff. I gave it one look full of calmness and started gathering the papers. after collecting quite a pile, i found the jewel there, my flash notebook!!!!!! YES YES YES !!!!!!!!!!!! Ah, i heaved a sigh of relief! atalst, i cud study the scripts that i have completely forgotten after doing the assignments 3 months ago.

Almost 60% of my exam fever has come down now. its only serious study now, thats it, i have to work on a few game concepts, presentation ideas and web layouts....m not giving up...i have to score well this time..!!!

guest house?!

when a family moves from one city to another, guest pour in to stay at their new place. No asking, nothing...just one phone call, 'hey, we're coming to ur new place for bla bla days, c u!' thats it. and the poor family has no option but to get busy for preparations.

not a single day do i remember when we had no guests in house. They have been visiting us like ours were a guset house.. they come, they stay, have fun and ruin my study/work time! Not that i hate them..i love them all, but its just that the timing is sooo wrong! like yesterday, gadgils came over for dinner, i lost almost 4 hours from 6-10pm, which cud have been used to work on the glow signs project and also, i wud have taken an evening walk. and gadgils, arent guests, i have lived with them for 2 years, so they r like family to me. plus, m pissed with the way they all are all time baby-sitters for shamy. hes a pacca nautanki like many other over pampered kids, keeping the entire family on toes.

i have projects to do, study for the exam then go thru the exam, and mum the great had to invite her frnz from bombay with their families in the midst of my exam dates. cool. ok, its a week end, but its not the only weekend of a lifetime. on top of that she'd say, suju can shut herself in her room and work peacefully! ya rt! like the other kids are gonna let me do that..and my room doesnt have sound-proof walls and door. i have no idea whats gonna hapen to my temper that day...oh, how about running away to mohini's place, or aji's place or somewhere or anywhere... yes, i shud do that or m screwed. again, i pray, may all those ppl who want to study in life, dont stay with your family!!! ofcourse, if u want to study house keeping, thats the best!

this time its dreamweaver and flash scripting for the exam...they need a lot of practice, which ofcourse i havent done. no, the shifting thingy neednt be blamed, its actually my so called 'unwilling participation in it, to keep mum happy', that messed things up. not just my work, it also messed up my diet and work out schedule...which hurts me the most!

i hope things work out real soon!

Trying to fit in

19 may 08
I don’t know how to start with this. It’s tough to adapt to changes that are against ur will. Yest’day, I was out the whole day just b’coz I cudnt think of a reason to go out of the house again.

I was out at 9, went to mohini’s place to pick her up for college. just then sumit nsgd ‘no class’. I stayed back. We thot of watching narnia at 9.30 e-sq but we were too late. So we went to my place. Had lunch and went to city pride to catch the 12.5 show. Awesome movie! It ended at 2.30. yash was to call me after his class, so I thot me n mohini hang out a lil and then I’ll go with yash. So we went browsing thru big bazaar for half an hr. I found chetan bhagat’s 3rd book and picked it up! Then we sat out side big bazar on the katta. Had caramel popcorn and bingos while I read the book and mohini listened to her ipod. It was abt 3.30 when yash msgd he cant make it soon! So after a while we went to tathavde udyan and spent like an hr there, walking and talking. Then mum calls and assigns me some job. So we go to the plumber and the solar heater dealer. Done with them by 6 when yash again calls up to cancel the meeting, he got busy. Cool.

By that time me n mohi were too hungry and hogged on some bhel puri and veg puff. We planned to work at my place in the night. So from lucky bakery, we drifted to swargate to get her stuff and back home by 7. but we both were so tired that we went to sleep at 11! The driving hadn’t left its remains from me. I felt sick. I was showing a few symptoms of fever..but one dose of homoeopathy did the magic! M feeling better since this morning.

I talked to Isaac after a long time 2day, on the phone. Hes been good. Its just that I feel I don’t get to spend as much time with my frnz as I used to. Like yest’day was one day after weeks that I spent with mohini had we had fun. I haven’t met yash since last 3 days. I haven’t seen other college frnz for 2 days. Its like m turning into an indoor person, which I hate! M a complete outdoor material. I don’t recollect the last time I went out sketching at swargate, or going out biking at night with frnz, or just an evening walk in the company of trees in the narrow lanes of karve nagar, or climbed up parvati whenever I felt like…times r changing so much! All coz I’ve shifted with my family!? Coz earlier, I cud go out anywhere at anytime without worrying about what a 20 yr old wud say to mum or what sidd wud think about his tai. Now, there are other existences to me than just suju. Mum expects me to carry the home responsibilities and i cant avoid it. I know I have to. I cant give her a straight answer coz shes explosive, and also going thru menopause, which directly affects a woman’s emotional state. So I have to be very careful in choosing words when I talk to her and have to be polite and smile. While on the other hand I have to make sure sidd is disciplined as per dad’s conditions. And he being a compete brat, it’s a tough job!

So unintentionally, I have cut down on time spending with frnz and increased family time. I cudnt figure out how this happened but it is what it is and I have to face it coz I love my dad too much. And only coz he isn’t available for mum n sidd, hes put me into this. Daddy’s good girl has grown up.

long week end and longest blog!

saturday morning i woke up to the sound of mum yelling at sidd, trying to wake him up! right, i teer mein 2 nishan.. they had to leave early for manavli. and i was supposed to drive mama's esteem later, after my class. it was set, they left at 7 while i was bathing. I left at about 8 on my nova, went to aji's place, picked up the esteem and drove to college. Worked on some action scripts and css...and escaped from there at 10. Came to karve nagar to pick up gadgil family coz they werent sure they wud come, hence i took the car in the morning. anyways, we were at manavli for lunch. the drive was fine but the strong sun made me sick! but i had sahi 'thalipeeth' and 'taak' at datta snacks which was totally refreshing..

At manvli. we reached at about 2pm. sidd and mum were there by 11 am. And i discovered dad, jaideep mama and manisha mami too were there! That was a surprise..jaideep and manisha, they are buying a piece of land near by. But what caught my attention the most was the tree overflowing with mangoes! yes, its amazing to see mangoes clinging at a height of about 2 feet from the ground! there are 4 mango trees in all and all were loaded. i was so excited to take them down..

we had lunch, and soon heard a horn at the gate. It was the versa. Manik aji, dada, kalyani aatya, naresh kaka, komal and harsha aatya! the loud speakers had arrived and the fun multiplied! Chatting chattin and chatting...it was time for tea now. hey, wait a sec. Just after this bunch came in, dad sent kasim to pick up gretta and family! yes, they too were home at aronud 4, gretta, gpyson, grason and her 3 nephews ( dont remember their names!) so totally, it was 21 of us on the farm house! people from mumbai and pune. some from my paternal side, some maternal and then my dad's office staff and his frnd...it was a super get together! everyone mixed up instantly.

Evening time i set out for a short climb on a hill nearby. it was tiring but up there on the hill top the breeze was so cool..i enjoyed it. i was back home in an hour only to find out we were heading to the beach volley ball court! All of us, and i mean 'all' of us. from the 4 year old grason to 65+ dada, everyone was young on the court. the game does it! it was the best throw ball i ever played and with naresh kaka's commentary....sone pe suhaga! hes a pacca gujju, non-stop chatter box! We made our own rules and made the best of it with a dozen and a half of varied players on the court.

at sunset we ended our game and now came the mess...everyone was dirty with sand and rushed for a bath! around 15 ppl took bath one after the other in 3 bathrooms! that gave mum and aatyas a good time to cook the dinner. all fresh and set, we had dinner at 8, a mouth watering khichadi , tomato soup, papad, mirchi and salad. We were so full! everyone appreciated the food and also praised dad for building the weekend home! Jaideep mami and manisha mami, then left for mumbai. The rest of us spread out in the house and were lying around, chatting and laughing at the top of our voice! It was 10, time to sleep..we made arrangements in the living room and it accomodated all of us! in no time there was a pin drop silence, the throw ball and the dinner did it.

Sunday morning. Like never before, everyone was up by 7! the bird calls in villages are the best alarm..and not to forget the sun god penetrating into the house without the obstuction of tall biuldings! a bunch of us set out to trek in the sun. we enjoyed the view and the breeze from the hill top and i took lots of pitures. all tired yet excited we returned home. gretta and family were up by then. we were playing galli cricket while dad was busy studying the mangoes. he declared there were a few that can be picked! yay!!! soon he was up the tree with a lond stick and a pouch attached to it to pluck the mengoes. this was so adventurous!!! i followed him with the cam in my hand. managed to make my self comfy on a branch. sidd joined in soon. and one by one the cricket players wered diverted to the mango plucking. we collected about 20 mangoes. dad plucked them with that stick, passed them to sidd, he put them in a bucked and sent them down like a pulley. it was such fun!!! i was having a blast while taking pictures and going up and down when dad needed help.

huff huff....after the exhausting fun, breakfast was ready, garam pohe, bakarwadi and amba-naral wadi that hasrsha aatya had made. it was relishing! after a few of us had a bath..we realised - no more water in the tank! wah! so half us were left sticky and stinky. who cares! thats what they call a weekend! i helped to chop kairis and onions for lunch as kalyani and harsha aatya cooked the rassa, bhat and rotis. then we had lunch at 1 and as per aji's instructions, the gadgil family was set to leave. they had plans to stay back but yash fell sick so they wanted to go home. i was so pissed! they made me drive in the middle of the afternoon again! but responsibilities r inevitable. like the time a few hours ago when i tried to get a nap, dad called out for me and sent me to drop gretta and family at the mandwa jetty. the best part i got to drive marina after a long time! hehe...i love to drive but only for the back!

a super hit weekend that it was, i will never forget it.

relationships

totally into this nut case! God knows why?! If m asked why i like him, i'd probably have no answer. ok, i like his voice and i like when he holds my hand and love to cuddle up and ..... i can always keep adding to this 'thats so obvious' list! seriously, no solid reason. God, i never thot i'd fall for it. i mean i was the one making fun of ppl who spent hours talking to their lovers on the phone and crashing their phone balance and battery, or who wud die to get one glimpse of each other... ah, imagine if my nutcase had to go abroad again?! ... we wud go back and keep thanking skype!

when i think abt our past days when we kept in touch thru the internet, woah, internet is an absolute bliss! we were like next door neighbours- updating one another on our daily lives. and when u meet after 15 months, having known each other so well..u r bound to get hooked up! there was no stopping this time- no distance, no questions, no odds, nothing...

being the elder sibling

finally we moved in. dad was here too. this morning it was me, aai and baba. he began saying, 'suju, do u know why we have shifted here?' i say 'no' . he proceedes. he explained to me how the only priority in his personal life was to get sidd on track and how he wanted me to help him do this. he said after a progressive success in business, no man wud want his family to suffer coz they dint get enuf of him, while he has busy working...he felt bad he cudnt be there for sidd in his early ages, thats when he wanted to discipline sidd. but he is positive, and wants to rectify his mistake. he believes i am old enough to take care of sidd and aai. basically he wants to change the mumbaiya culture sidd has gotten into which freaks him out completely.
but sidd is way into it. so he got them to pune, so that sidd wud spend some time with aai and me and adapt to a simpler, easier culture and learn family values for god's sake!

i was shocked coz i had never heard baba's side of the story. and now that i have, i want to see it coming true . i totally love him for the person he is and i can seriously do anything to help him, even if it means- cleaning, cooking, sleeping and waking up early, daily! yes, baba says 'no maids' in the house. house will be cleaned, clothes will be washed and food will be cooked by ourselves! thats like a rocking life, isnt it?! no worries at all. m cool with it. actually, that will bring us close to our house, it will give us the satisfaction...and of course, sidd the 'rajkumar' will come down on earth.

a good start that it needed, i cooked paneer bhurji 2day. also helped mum with the grocery and washed the utensils. but then sidd comes in for dinner and declares- 'i wont eat this!'

thats it!
but m still cool. i will have to be and i will. this is for u baba! only u! its like u've given me a new direction, a new goal..a new life style..hehe!

m not alone..its just a phase that m going thru..

we were having fun last nite after the annual function, when isaac had to say that my mind is preoccupied with many things. i hated that coz i was having a good time and he reminded me of the whole shifting thing. i think i shudnt have told anyone untill the shifting had taken place! but i did. and isaac can read my face clearly. its impossible to hide things from him.

i feel sick the moment i thnk of living with sidd and mum. they make me uneasy in a day, what will i do for 5 years??? its not like my family is shifting, coz my family is incomplete without the presence of baba, aji and ajoba at home. so i wud say only sidd and aai r shifting. baba is never home, hes travelling all the time. aji ajoba want to continue staying in vile parle.. so who is left out to stick with sidd and aai, is me! naaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!

i had asked aai and baba to send me to a hostel when i went to 11th std. i dint want to continue living with non stop chaos and shoutings and what nots... but they dint let me. i stayed with them for 2 years. and those 2 years i only searched for good colleges way away from mumbai. I dint make it to NID, my fate! may be i dint try with the right intention! then i got to know abt VCIC and i took my chances. i knew it was a baby college, but i had to come out of the life i was living so i convinced baba somehow and escaped.

And finally, i was at peace! no bugging sidd...no aai nothing to bother me, just me! i was happy i got peace and sid was happy he got the entire room that we used to share. i dont remember, we calling up each other anytime, to say hi or enquire abt our health n stuff, reason- we were happy without each other! i spoke to aai every week and we updated each other. that was cool coz she wasnt in my everyday scene, eyeing me! but she missed being with me like hell. coz i used to share every lil thing with her and suddenly she realised that her daughter was independent enough to handle certain things by herself.

And now, she wants to come back in my everyday life, so that i share things with her the way i used to '2 years ago' and she likes that. i cant do that , coz i have moved on. i have grown up..infact i feel better now. i think she shud just worry abt sidd. i had also said that while leaving mumbai. i had said, 'aai. now u dont have to worry abt me, i will manage. just make sure u attend to sidd, he needs it more than me. he is a special child, a unique case, lets say. baba is never around, so its u alone and u can better focus on one child than two. m old enough now, i will always keep updating u and talk to u when i feel like or miss u.' n i meant that. i still do.

aai plz, dont make 'me' a reason of ur life. i wud not appreciate that! n it wud hurt u more when i have a separate home and family. sidd will also grow older and step into a college life. and u will be left alone. we wud only live together physically! u must start getting urself involved in some social activity, and dont stop ur practice, u r a great doc! i hate to say this, but u r sacrificing a lot. all this, is enough of an experience for me, to think of not gettin married or not having kids. i sense, i wud just 'live in' with someone or live alone.